Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. Stop off at another floor, on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, you can both walk to mcdonald's and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you her paper, typed, double spaced and bound in one of those irritating see thru plastic folders, drop her. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. You'd better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate. Listen to one side of your favorite tape and that's it, seriously, as soon as it's over you are going to start that paper.

Exchange derogatory remarks about your teacher, the course, the college, the world at large. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. Read over the assignment again roll the words across your tongue savor their special flavor. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on tv. Note: when you have a paper due in less than 12 hours, anything on tv from masterpiece theater to 147 sgt.

Preston of the yukon 148 is truly worthwhile, with these exceptions: a pro bowlers tour b any movie starring don ameche 21. Open your door and check to see if there are any mysterious, trenchcoated strangers lurking in the hall. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to write that darn paper. hilarious science papers interpretations of nature from junior high, high school, and college test papers and essays submitted to science and health teachers spelling errors preserved. H2o is hot water, and co2 is cold water to collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube when you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide water is composed of two gins, oxygin and hydrogin. Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.

Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire. The body consists of three parts the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five a, e, i, o, and u. The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have ben taken off.

A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative. For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artifical perspiration. For fainting: rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose untill it drops in your throat.

jokes about writing a visitor to a certain college paused to admire the new hemingway hall that had been built on campus. In some languages, though, such as russian, a double negative is still a negative. As the writer descended into the fiery pits, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. A few moments later, as she ascended into heaven, she saw rows of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop.