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So consider this the second chapter of any baby sitters club book where boring background info is given. we all know that kristy likes softball and stacey has the diabetes. Ok so now that thats out of the way, some new observations from la universita de lies coming soon. Im in a bit of a personal non drug induced haze these days but will be writing some new shit soon.

But every time ive sat down to write it, i come down with a terrible case of ennui. and boredom is so much worse when its french, no? the whole thing was so strange that a month later, i still dont think ive been able to process my feelings about it. The viva itself was actually kind of fun. my examiners had both clearly read my thesis and were familiar with a number of the primary texts i used. they started off by telling me how much they enjoyed . The final result is that i passed with minor corrections, so just a few typos to fix. i still cant believe it. i do know how lucky i got with my examiners. really fucking lucky that they 1. Had totally reasonable expectations for a phd thesis and realize that i am not a 73 year old wizard guru with infinite knowledge. and thank allah for that, because after all of the shitty experiences ive had with various advisers, i needed a fucking break.

This is all made more complicated by the fact that i am now unemployed. you see, getting a phd really fucking impressed that shitty school i was working for. i want to say more about this but theres some investigation thing going on surrounding my unceremonious discharge so im going to wait until thats resolved to get into specifics. Im very very lucky in that i have a partner with a job and health insurance and a good support network. thank god for that. im going to use the time between now and graduation to focus on getting my writing business off the ground. more on that soon. Im trying to study for my viva, and by try, i mostly mean freak out and create post apocalyptic scenarios that involve the examiners trying to eat my puny brains whilst my books gather a layer of dust not unlike that of miss havishams wedding cake. Ive reread my thesis and wrote one page summaries of each chapter. rereading that shit was a very odd experience one minute, i felt proud and kind of impressed with myself, then just when my head was in danger of getting too big, id flip the page and read something so embarrassing that i just wanted to crawl into bed forever like one of charlie buckets grandparents not grandpa joe, obviously. I seriously could not understand this. but now that ive finally submitted my own thesis, my own catatonic state seems to reflect my friends experience.

I dont really feel relief. i dont really feel excited or proud. i do feel vaguely guilty that im not working on it anymore. crazy, right? i think this lack of relief comes from the fact that i know ill have to defend the damn thing in several weeks time and then i may or may not have to make a few months worth of ridiculous changes. so this feels like more of a temporary reprieve than anything else. Its funny, because the disparity between the oh the phd is a research exercise attitude schools officially espouse and the not on the university website attitude of everything youve ever written sucks, gtfo of my office reality of advisement fuck with your head until you internalize your own shitty mediocrity. Maybe thats the real point of the phd? anyways hope all of you out there in blogland have a happy new year.

If confession is good for the soul, then you should know that i am a first class procrastinator. I love what i get to do its an incredible privilege to have focused time for study. i am afraid i think i know what a good dissertation will look like, and im afraid i wont be able to cut it. My brain is already on tape delay, and i know it will take immeasurable hours of sheer grunt work to bring me up to speed on even some basics. In an effort to give myself a kick in the seat of the pants or procrasitate some more , ive been looking into a few study hacks and motivational tactics. I thought you might enjoy some quotes from this guy things i learnt during, and about, my phd you may want to read his disclaimer first.

Online Research Journals In English Literature

This post represents the advice i wish i could have given to myself when i was thinking about applying for a phd. In fact, i’d been thinking about it and working on it for the previous 2 years. However, many people start their phd with a vague interest in an area and spend the first 12 months figuring out what novel aspect they want to pursue.

Research Journal of Biotechnology Received Papers

Initially, it can feel as if finding out what you are going to research is the main hurdle. The main problem is that once you’ve narrowed your research area down, you need to keep focusing. In the end you’re left looking at boring equations, graphs and theories that are the complete opposite of the interesting and practical idea you started with. In many ways this is like starting a business: everyone can have a grand business idea, some people can tease out a feasible business plan, but the successful businesses are run by the people with the big vision and the attention to the smallest details.