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if you are a maintainer of this web content, please refer to the site documentation regarding web services for further assistance. This option may be re enabled by the project by placing a file with the name .htaccess with this line: an error has been encountered in accessing this page. time: 2016 02 20 0:25 utc 1455935245 reporting this problem: the problem you have encountered is with a project web site hosted by sourceforge.net. This option may be re enabled by the project by placing a file with the name .htaccess with this line: recently i told the story in the wall street journal of a father who offered me, an independent college applications counselor, a $10,0 check to write his son’s college essays.

Instead i took the boy: we fled his father’s midtown manhattan office and went for a walk, along sidewalks crowded with people who had gone to ivy league colleges, non ivy league colleges and no colleges at all, to the park, where we could really talk. That father is an extreme example of a parent driven mad by the college admissions race, but his response was not unusual among the fathers who hired me during the 15 years i spent doing this work: please, just get this taken care of. Nothing bedevils students and their parents so much as the personal statement, the 650 word essay at the center of the common application and others, which is meant to contain multitudes: to be winning but not pretentious, rigorous but not dull, authentic but not naïve. It is not a genre that is taught in school not a book report or a history paper, this, nor a diary entry it’s a form of memoir, a first person essay that requires the writer to stand at some distance from himself and say what is true. Some parents made delicate suggestions only to have the student shut down the conversation. I worked with the child of an author of a new york times bestseller, who told me, oh my god, i can’t help him at all. Most were baffled: my own parents had no idea where i was even applying to college! and always, beneath the anxiety and concern, was clearly discernible guilt.

Parents think they should be able to help with this most important piece of a child’s entree into adulthood. And why not? they raised him! it’s november some early applications are already in, others are bearing down. A mother can’t help her child write a stellar personal statement any more than she can teach her child to flirt. And about fine gradations of private interest that are, frankly, none of your business. The personal statement requires that the writer have a sense of perspective about herself, the essential memoirist’s distance that permits her to collude with the reader, not with her parents.

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Nothing is so deadly to this perspective as mom or dad, no matter how loving, leaning down to read over one’s shoulder. The whole mess of maternal adoration and expectation descends on rhetorical perspective and flattens it like a storm does a cornfield. Every family has its mythology, and diligent students, i’ve found, always sing versions of this same song. It is the difference between the young woman who writes about how proud she is that her mom works full time and the one who argues instead that in her childhood loneliness she learned independence. It is the difference between the young man who writes, i understand suffering because i’ve watched my dad live with a chronic illness and nothing in my life has ever been that difficult, and the one who writes, seeing my dad in pain was devastating for me. Above all, it’s the freedom that lets a student reveal her voice in a way that admissions offices, in my experience, find wonderfully compelling. So what can a parent do? perhaps you can tell your high school senior the things you most admire in her, list qualities and experiences, in case anything kindles.

Perhaps you can say, what would you write if you knew we would never read it? and stand by that offer. In writing the personal statement, students are beginning to tell the story of themselves. Remember how that felt? as the poet james richardson wrote: would it have been better or worse if i could have whispered to myself back then, i know the way? follow me.

A former independent college applications counselor, is the author of early decision. In todays society there is constant pressure from every conceivable angle to achieve. So much of that emphasis is focused on the individuals ability to compete in an increasingly competitive marketplace tragically, because of this the individuals ability to understand their position in life has become obsolete. However, there is a beacon of hope for the youth of today, and that guiding light is called college. Higher education is the last bastion for the future leaders of america, a place where a person can gain a true awareness of their place in life, both politically, and personally. A great deal of emphasis is given to the vast degree of intellect, and ability to keep up, that college can provide the true developmental importance that an individual can glean from post high school education comes in the form of learning the intangible skills of independence, social acuity, and self worth.

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A student who, after a lifetime of reliance on a paternal figure, finally is able to take charge of their own life is gaining a life skill that no classroom can teach. However, in college this process is thoughtfully guided, and independence is meted out in increments, as the student becomes more fully able to control their life more fully. Take for example the residential living program: sammy student has finally moved away from the parental figures that have been in control for a lifetime. He meets his new roommate, he socializes with his fellow students, and is made to feel at home in a community of peers that are all going through the same experience that he is. With the support of the residential community at his school sammy learns priceless skills related to his ability to co exist with many different individuals in a closely monitored living situation. As his time at school continues the restrictions that were present in his first year begin to fade, and he begins to have to start to take care of himself more.

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By the end of his time in college he is ready to live independently and comfortably in any number of myriad living situations. The skills of living independently and social tact that are built throughout the years will serve any student immeasurably as they begin to interview for jobs, or if they are forced to relocate to follow a lucrative job offer they will be much more prepared than an individual that has not had that life experience. Not only does college offer an ideal place to foster independent living skills, it is an institution that inculcates a sense of self worth in the students that complete it. In those two plus years that student is subjected to varying degrees of mental challenges some would say mental tortures , and strict deadlines. At the end of their time, when the degree hits their clammy palm, the sensation that is bubbling out at that moment will be with them for a lifetime they completed college, and noone can take that away. The benefits of college are not exclusively relegated to the personal development of a students life skills, the impact of the classroom is much more than fostering intellect the student is gaining an increased awareness of the world.

Nearly every university across the united states has as a requirement a certain amount of required courses, these courses rarely have anything to do with the advancement of the chosen major, but with the advancement of the students understanding of the intangible aspects of life. Humanities, philosophy, and history provide the eager young minds with so much more than basic information. A successful humanities course will foster a sense of wonder for the finer cultural aspects of the world, and give the student the tools to appreciate them for what they are and not simply who made them. Philosophy will give the student a forum to express their indignation at the darker part of the world, and give them the drive to begin to change it, beginning with themselves. History is absolutely imperative for the simple fact that in order avoid the past mistakes of civilization, one must first understand them. Granted there is a huge degree of pure information that is absorbed in the classroom, but more importantly, there is a great potential for leadership in an eager young learner. Finally, the true potential of a college graduate, is their ability to collect all these skills, intellect, and understanding, and apply it to make the necessary changes that are so vital to this modern crossroads between a bright future, and a modern dark age.

I suspect that to the incoming college student, there are few phrases more ominous than the thought that college as america used to understand it is coming to an end. College, after all, is the end to which we have devoted our thoughts and directed our studies toward over the last four years. For the class of 2007, the pipe dream of college has not yet dissolved into the quotidian banality of small dorms and stressful classes. For us and perhaps, only us the undergraduate experience remains nebulous and glimmering. Unburdened by reality, it still seems fraught with the possibilities tangibly encapsulated in hastily purchased school sweatshirts and an acceptance letter, heavily creased from being read too many times. Even as a masters degree has become the new bachelors degree in terms of earning power and expectations, high school has become the new college as the formative period for young lives.

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