A dream come true? its college admissions season and high school seniors all over the country are struggling to perfectly capture the essence of who they are in fewer than 1,001 characters, no easy task for anyone, let alone an overworked high school student. Parents and university hopefuls frequently tell us that they are unsure of what to write in their personal statements. While the standard advice is easy to give find something interesting and unique about you, and tell it in a compelling way , it is often painfully difficult to follow through on. Weve all heard english teachers say that the introduction can be the most important part of an essay, as it focuses the reader, sets expectations, and grabs the readers attention. Worse, we writers often lack the objectivity to effectively assess our our own writing especially when weve labored over a single paragraph for hours or days , so we may not be able to tell whether our writing works or conveys the message we want. Not helping matters at all is the conflicting advice we receive from the dozen or so english teachers weve had over the years. you may not know how lucky you are until youve lost everything you once had , favoring the more stilted third person one may not know how lucky she is until shes lost everything she once had .

Another teacher may encourage you to eschew formality and find an authentic voice. Complicating matters is the fact that college board has officially okayed the use of first person e.g. I in the sat essay, which for many students represents the definitive answer to the question of what is or is not acceptable in writing. Folks, for the record, there are different levels of formality and myriad different styles of writing. My best advice to you, if you have any doubt at all, is to first learn what your particular teacher or test wants, and conform to those expectations or guidelines.

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So, what are the admissions committees looking for in writing? if you ask any of them, they will invariably tell you just to be yourself, to let your true voice come out. But what does that mean? i could write a chapter on this topic, but for now ill just say that i think that that advice isnt as helpful as it sounds. What would happen if you were just being yourself and wrote i hecka want to go to stanford! i mean, who wouldnt? dude, its an awesome school! you ever see those posers wearing stanford hoodies, but you just know they didnt go there? yeah! i could wear a stanford hoodie honestly, and then all my relatives would shut up about me never succeeding at anything. Stanford published 22 opening lines of essays they liked, the writers of which were offered a place in the graduating class of 2012. Here are eight of those 22, chosen for their variety and uniqueness:

on a hot hollywood evening, i sat on a bike, sweltering in a winter coat and furry boots. While traveling through the daily path of life, have you ever stumbled upon a hidden pocket of the universe? cancer tried to defeat me, and it failed.

Flying over enemy territory, i took in beiruts beautiful skyline and wondered if under different circumstances i would have hopped on a bus and come here for my vacation. Instead, i saw the city from the window of a helicopter, in military uniform, my face camouflaged, on my way to a special operation deep behind enemy lines. Unlike many mathematicians, i live in an irrational world i feel that my life is defined by a certain amount of irrationalities that bloom too frequently, such as my brief foray in front of 400 people without my pants. I hope those opening lines will give you some ideas of what to write and of what the admissions committees like. If you, your friends, or your family like something youve written, theres a good chance others will too. And good luck with your admissions! although i posted this link on the stanford site, it is also appropriate here. Reinforces post 19 the undergraduate admissions staff, while evaluating students on their total merit, take notice of the first lines that make essay reading a particular pleasure.

We asked them to share some of their favorite openers from those students who, starting in september, can write, call me cardinal. Examples of the actual starting sentences of essays from the class of 2012 that caught the eye of the admissions staff are in the article: thousands of college seniors are struggling with the elusive college essay. For a lucky few it is easy to come by. words just begin flowing and before you know it, your personal statement is done. for the majority of students, writing the perfect essay can be a grueling and stressful process. the pressure for it to be unique, coherent, comprehensive and overall, perfect is undeniable. Bennington college and stanford university have both published sample first lines of the college essays of their first year classes. these are great examples of unique and captivating ways to begin and essay. so how do you get that stellar first line? here are my suggestions: don’t write the first line first. sometimes it is easier to write the entire essay, then think of the appropriate introduction. what do you say if you have nothing to say? so you may not have experienced some great tragedy in your life and you still have yet to win a noble prize, but i bet you still have something interesting to say. think about conversations, photographs, observations you have made of other people, anything can be a source of inspiration.

offer a unique perspective. the examples from bennington and stanford do talk about once in a lifetime experiences, but they also show examples of students who just have unique perspectives on life. one example is to just comment on a unique thought you may have. my favorite is i change my name every time i place an order at starbucks. this is not an essay that is going to be the same as the next student in the pile. quotes are a great source for inspiration. another first liner from stanford talks about how the student’s little sister was upset by a slogan on a t shirt. writing about a slogan or quote is a great way to show your opinion, which also lets the admission officer get to know you.

what would you do? think of a hypothetical situation and talk about how you would handle it. from the bennington post, one student talks about how he or she would design a library. As with all of our posts on college essays, i must stress the importance of proofreading. make sure there are no big mistakes that make your essay stand out for the wrong reason! this month we are offering advice on the perfect college essay. we have covered the importance of searching for the right topic by making sure the essay focuses on you. we also discussed the importance of telling a good story and what to do if you are just stuck. While choosing the right topic is an important first step in writing the perfect essay, it is always the first line of the essay that will draw the admissions officer in. usually by the end of the first paragraph, they will form an opinion of whether or not the essay is a winner or a dud.

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A few years ago, stanford university published sample first lines of college essay of admitted students for the class of 2012. These are great examples of unique and captivating ways to begin and essay. here are some examples: i almost didnt live through september 11th, 2001. When i was 8 years old, i shocked my family and a local archaeologist by discovering artifacts dating back almost 3,500 years. While traveling through the daily path of life, have you ever stumbled upon a hidden pocket of the universe? the spaghetti burbled and slushed around the pan, and as i stirred it, the noises it gave off began to sound increasingly like bodily functions. I stand on the riverbank surveying this rippled range like some riparian cowboy instead of chaps, i wear vinyl, thigh high waders and a lasso of measuring tape and twine is slung over my arm. My younger sister, jessica, arrived home one day reeling about the shirt that her friend had worn to school.

Ill never forget the day when my childhood nightmares about fighting gigantic trolls in the lord of the rings series became a reality. Sword in hand and clad in medieval samurai armor, i dragged myself into the battleground as i faced my opponent, a warmongering giant. Good grief! you never would have guessed that an unassuming meek lovable loser like charlie brown would have an influence on anyone but indeed he has. Some fathers might disapprove of their children handling noxious chemicals in the garage. Journey to gulus outskirts and you will uncover the scene where education was raped 11 years ago some ugandan teens also lost their innocence in exchange for their lives.

On a hot hollywood evening, i sat on a bike, sweltering in a winter coat and furry boots. Don’t you want to read more? didn’t these first lines make you curious? so how do you get that stellar first line? how do you get started with your essay in the first place? here are some examples from essays that some of my students have developed and how they found their first line. Three seconds later the wind lifted and tipped the boat and as i stretched my body over the side, i knew the feeling of the osprey soaring overhead pure freedom! crafting this first line: this student wrote about one of his greatest passions, sailing. he did a great job of creating a visual picture right at the beginning of his essay.

you can picture him leaning over the side, the howling wind, the smile on his face. the instant picture creates a connection for the reader and they want to read more. example 2: be funny but appropriate crouching in the grass, the tiger parents spot their prey. At the first sign of laziness, they pounce, surprising the girl back into doing her homework. the recent tiger mom controversy has brought a new perspective into american culture. crafting this first line: this student uses a bit of humor to hook the admissions officer in. she is writing about a relatively serious topic, but by poking fun at the it, she has made it even more interesting.

sometimes i really wish i could write in cursive, not the semi connected scrawl i normally use. When i see people who write in perfect cursive, i can’t help but be overcome by jealousy at the graceful, fluid movements creating equally inspiring marks on the page. crafting this first line: this student had the advantage of having a really different topic to draw her first line from. who would think of writing her college essay about handwriting? having an outside of the box topic can automatically hook an admissions officer and make them wonder where you are going with your idea.

The perfect first line of your essay may not be easy to come by, but dont focus on that first. sometimes it is easier to write the entire essay, then think of the appropriate introduction. Boys college essay first lines for free, and enkidu was created to balance out gilgamesh, and he accomplishes this goal.