length: 2612 words 7.5 double spaced pages rating: red free personal narrative first love and missed opportunities as a sophomore my workload consists mainly of three very different classes. But within the first week i had something to tie them together love, to be more specific, first love. In my bible study class, the professor wanted to illustrate the human ability to recall detailed information regarding personally important events. He posed the question how many of you remember your first love ? and went on to say how we should approach bible study with a degree of passion.

The question was posed again in my science history class, illustrating the love the people we were going to study aristotle, galileo, and newton had for their professions. How many of you can remember your first love? a triple coincidence in my classes? or maybe a theme for the year two thousand. Who knows? it would be prudent to note that i’m not a particularly attractive individual.

Suffice to say i have not been in an intimate situation since playing house at the age of six. None the less each time the question was posed before the class, i raised my hand. After all, it seemed like almost everyone was responding and it wasn’t as if i were weird or anything. I may not have had a first love to remember, but i still remember vividly my first crush.

Her name was kelly and i had the hots for her through junior high and early high school. She would finish my thoughts when speaking and tended to focus on the things i found important. The hairs on the back of my neck would stand with excitement any time she was near me. Nothing i can say would describe the joy i felt by simply seeing her smile, bonus points if i was the one to cause her to do so. Kelly, on the other hand, was beautiful and, for a lack of a more tasteful description, only improved in her sexual maturity.

She was in another league than i was and for me to attempt a relationship with her, no matter how meaningful was imply unrealistic fantasy. Even though my spirit soared to the greatest heights with her warm gaze, it was still plain to see that the way she looked at me was not close to the way she looked at more attractive men. I never got the courage to try to develop a relationship with her to release my feelings and take the rejection like a man. This is not really a story of haves and have nots rather, this story reflects people’s personal visions of what their lives will be like. No one envisions herself with a short, hairy man with a large amount of body fat. And everyone must make compromises with this vision, settling for less than the ideal mate. But the have nots in the looks department must make more compromises than the haves.

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They can see the attractive and even wave hello, but there is an impassable barrier between the two. This sets up a social system in which the better looking have more of a choice in obtaining a partner than the uglier people. This is by no means guarantees that a good looking person will get whomever he/she wants personality and character as well as intelligence and morality still hold merit in a relationship. With someone like kelly, i had a near total rapport, but since my image didn’t fit with her image of the ideal partner, the best i could hope for was to become her best friend: just one of the girls. This little move safely removes the undesirable prospect from becoming any kind of lover. She was a short girl with long brown hair which was always pulled back in a braid.

She had down to earth good looks, jenny plain not tall, and she was constantly plagued by allergies. We soon found a common interest in science and shared a passion for an animated series from japan called ronin warriors. When prom rolled around and both she and i were dateless, we decided to go together as friends. We were having a great time, dancing to all the songs we liked and pretended to like, paying no attention to the fact that neither one of us was any good. When the night was dying down, the dance floor thinning, people slinked off to the different corners of the civic center to socialize, and we were alone. We talked for a while and then she approached me about becoming more than friends. At this point in my life, i had college looming ahead, which, naively, i saw as the great ender of my life as i knew it.

I was going to leave and my life would change so drastically that i would hardly have any ties to my current life. This set of emotions coupled with the fact that i was totally unprepared for her advance produced what turned out to be a hasty no. I had used the let’s stay friends on jenny, even though she had a higher rank in the appearance league than i did.

I thought college would eliminate the possibility of a relationship, but i also had never thought about a relationship between us before. I was guilty, the tables had been turned, and i was the one rejecting, but was it wrong? i had never seen jenny as anything more than a friend. We shared a couple of interests but i never felt the magic spark, the complete compatibility, that i could sense in my crush with kelly.

Should one settle for what they can get in a relationship? divorce in this country is all too common. People now tend to rush into and through relationships, straight to the alter, without learning the actual needs and desires of their partners. The prospect of having a companion with whom to combat loneliness is a great one. People need others to share their life with and the threat of not finding that significant other is frightening. So all too often we find people who jump at the first chance to fill the void, people settling for the first possible prospect available. This works for awhile, the couple is content with not being alone, filling the relationship with passion and romance.

But if they are not compatible, if they share little beyond the surface elements of a relationship, then they can only live with each other so long before their environment becomes unhealthy. While some may find that greater realm of connection and others learn to live with their incompatibility, many must go through the excruciating process of separation. Not too long ago, i was hanging around with my friends in the dorm when a girl named kate stopped by. For days now she had been visiting us telling us that we were her only friends at this school and giving us hints that she needed to talk. My life sucks was a common phrase she would use without warning to express her emotional state.