Katie anderson college student in norther california many of us struggle in high school trying to figure out who we are, building relationships, coming into adulthood. First, the struggle was that i wasn't feeling challenged in my classes aside from math, but that is an entirely different story. I felt that the teachers on campus were only there so that they could get a decent paycheck. I had friends and some amazing ones , but i was never in the popular crowd i was stuck. Teachers didn't seem to care at all few people reached out to me to see if i was okay. And on the rare occasion that i did open up and tell someone what i was struggling with, i got the classic things aren't that bad or you're fine. I don't remember a lot of my high school experience because i blocked most of it out.

To this day, there are still memories that i don't even know if they are real or if they are just some pieced together dream. On top of not feeling like the teachers and staff cared about their students, not being challenged in my classes or really learning in some of them , i was dealing with a few health issues of my own. I struggled and i still do today and then i finally mustered up what little courage i had to get help. Only to be told that there wasn't a thing wrong with me and that my eating habits were that of a normal teenage girl. It was obvious that she felt there wasn't anything wrong with me but many people in my day to day life were starting to notice the behaviors and the weight loss. I went to the doctor for help because i knew i needed it only to be torn down and feel like no one believed me.

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I was in and out of therapy/counseling but i hated it i had a hard enough time opening up to my few close friends, so how was i supposed to open up to a complete stranger? even these memories are fuzzy and most of them blocked out only to resurface years down the road and send me into a spiral of confusion. I didn't understand at that point in time what panic attacks were or how they happened but all i knew was that my mother was in and out of a local hospital to get help. We moved a few times and my grades dropped lower and lower, but i didn't care at that point. In many ways, i felt like a failure but how was i supposed to feel encouraged and like i could get through this in a school where so few cared? how was i supposed to figure out what i wanted out of life or to build relationships when everything around me had begun to fall apart? i couldn't. I was transferred to a new school the summer of what would have been my junior year of high school. As if starting at a new school wasn't hard enough, now i was sitting in my grandmother's living room watching everything play out. The new school wasn't much better again, i struggled to fit in, and the classes didn't challenge me.

I started off at a local adult education center, but the structure of the class didn't work well with me so i moved around a bit more before i realized i could study and learn the material on my own at home. I didn't have that experience you hear so many people talk about where they made the best memories of their lives in high school. Looking back on those years and comparing them to where i am now is shocking because i am two different people. Now, i am doing well, feeling challenged in my classes and have a lot of teachers who truly do care about their students.

I am at a school that i love and i am on a campus that offers the help i need when things get rough. Even though i hated high school and all the hell i experienced in those years, i'm thankful that i had those experiences to help me get to where i am now. A lesson to my teenage self: you'll find yourself looking back on experiences when things didn't work out and saying, that is who i was, and this is who i am now.

High school isn't for everyone, and it certainly wasn't for me but without the experience, i wouldn't be where i am today. I have been brought up in a family that regards and upholds education with the greatest respect. There is an ideology in the family that each and every person has to go through college before he or she is allowed to make his or her own decisions.